Letter
by JantoFan
Summary: A letter from Howard to Vince. Rated T for mild swearing.


**Bit random, but I'm (once again) having writers block with my other stories and this came to me as I tried to write them so here it is!**

**Disclaimer: Boosh is not mine. Julian's and Noel's. If it was mine, there'd be a lot more of it!**

* * *

Dear Vince,

How could you do it? How could you leave me? You joked about it often enough but I never thought you'd actually fucking do it. Did you think about me? Howard; the faithful friend, faithful lover, the one person in the world who loved you for who you truly were? Did you??

I hate you for this. I hate you for leaving me and breaking my fucking heart.

No I don't. who the hell am I kidding, I love you. I'll always love you, and if you came back even for one minute I'd cherish it and let you love me.

Bollo hasn't stopped moping since you left. Naboo's barely left his room, just holed up in there with his precious hookah and God knows what else. Did you think about what the consequences would be? Or did you just get into that car and drive away thinking everything would be fine and go on as normal? Because it wont. Without you in my life, all my sunshine's gone. Are you happy, Vince? I hope you are, even though I'm not.

You left all your clothes behind, although there's not much left now. You probably hate me for destroying all your precious outfits, but I couldn't help myself. There they were in the cupboard; a solid representation of everything you liked and everything that took you away from me. I couldn't bring myself to destroy the zoo jacket though. I didn't know you still had it. Maybe you didn't either, I don't know, it was buried at the back behind your boots. I remember how carefully you customised it the second day at the zoo, horrified at the thought you might have to wear a normal, plain green jacket. I was so angry with myself afterwards as I looked at the ruined fabric. If anything was going to make you come back it would be your clothes. But that's just wishful thinking, isn't it. You're never going to come back. Never going to come back to me.

I was going to propose, did you know that? I bet you did. Is that what made you get in that car? I hope to God it wasn't, Vince, because I don't want to spoil the perfect picture in my mind of what it would have been like. Knowing that my proposing was the catalyst for you leaving would destroy me. Please don't tell me if it was, I think I'd rather not know and live in blissful ignorance.

The funeral was last weekend. It was lovely. You'd have been thrilled, I even got them to play 'Cars' as the coffin went behind the curtain like you wanted. And everyone was dressed in bright clothes, it was like a giant party. I can picture your face now, probably gutted you couldn't be there. Or were you there? I like to think I felt your presence at my shoulder as I read my eulogy, but maybe that's just wishful thinking. And I picked a nice grave plot for you, you can see the park and that tree where you first kissed me. You were drunk out of your mind, of course, and it wasn't for another 3 months that you first kissed me sober, but I don't care. It's still my favourite place.

The driver's still in a coma. He was 17 and drunk, Vince, what were you thinking getting a lift with him? I visited the hospital yesterday and looked at him. I can't hate him for what he did, I imagine the self hatred when he wakes up will be enough for him. That and the prison sentence. But all the same, I cant help wishing he'd died. That he'd died, and you'd lived.

I still cant believe you've gone. I set the table with four plates yesterday, and could almost convince myself you would wonder in hungry until I fully remembered. My life means nothing without you in it. Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything stupid. I intend to live my life to the fullest; live for both of us because you cant do any of it. But I will see you again one day. Wait for me, my electro angel.

All my love forever,

Howard xxx

**

* * *

**

Sorry! I'm just in a really melancholic mood right now! Please review, it might help cheer me up!x


End file.
